Trainer

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We can perhaps consider that a trainer is similar to a dominant, but that they operate in a very limited context. Where a dominant takes charge and exercises authority as part of a complete relationship, a trainer takes charge and exercises authority for the purpose of teaching or training a submissive or slave (the trainee) in a particular set of skills or behaviours.

Similarly, a trainee is dominated or controlled by their trainer for the limited purpose of learning new skills.

There are a couple of consequences to this:

  1. Sooner or later the training is going to end because the trainee will have learned everything, and
  2. At this point the trainer can no longer have any power over the trainee because any power they did have was solely due to the fact of the training which has now ended.

A trainer/trainee relationship can be very intense. Particularly at the beginning, the slave or submissive has a lot to learn, will need frequent correction, and will require the often-full attention of the dominant. This can make such a relationship very full-on and often very rewarding for both... at least, initially. However, as noted above, as the training advances and the submissive learns what the dominant has to teach, less teaching is required, less correction, and for longer and longer periods the submissive can be left to perform the things they have been taught without any attention from their trainer. This means that the interaction drops, the penetration decreases, and the level of intensity also decreases, both for the trainer and the trainee.

It's common for BDSM couples to fall into the trap of "training" as a way of making their relationship work. Training is an easy goal, such as a dominant wanting to train their submissive to serve exactly how the dominant wants. Both of them may think this is highly desirable, and it probably is, but what happens when the training is done? Where do they go if that's the only D&s they had?

Where training works well, BDSM-wise, is when a submissive needs to learn some skills, such as learning how to present or how to kneel, or how to be a good conversation companion, or how to perform particular sexual acts. She can be given to a master or dominant for a period of training in those specific skills, and then returned to her dominant when the training is done.