Tie and tease

Tie and tease is a bondage-related activity where the bondage specifically serves to allow a dominant to torment or tease their submissive while preventing the submissive from doing anything about it. The form of teasing is commonly either tickling or erotic denial.

Tie-and-tease is an exercise in control. In some cases it involves the dominant bringing their submissive to the edge of orgasm repeatedly, but not letting their submissive actually reach orgasm... at least, not for a considerable time. An important aspect of this is the submissive's helplessness to control what happens to them or to escape (however, see also safeword) until their dominant allows them to do so.

Tie-and-tease is generally not what is called a "heavy" BDSM activity. In most cases it is light and fun, and is frequently a lead-up or form of fore-play before sex. If any implements or other equipment are used, they're not the sort which create any significant pain.

The sorts of things which can be used include:

• Light floggers,
• Candles for wax play,
• A Wartenberg wheel for some tantalising fear and apprehension,
• A dildo or vibrator (or both),
• Feathers for tickling,
• Fingers and fingernails for stroking or light scratching,
• Ice, for a bit of temperature play or ice play, and
• Silk or other cloth, for creating interesting and sexy sensations.

Note that a blindfold can add to the excitement and nervous apprehension your partner feels because they can't see or prepare themselves for the things you do to them.

How to do it

Tie-and-tease usually starts with some soft, light rope. Sash cord is a good. Alternatively, silk scarves can be a very sensual choice for restraining your partner. A good starting position is with the submissive naked and lying face up on a large bed. Tie their wrists and ankles to the corners of the bed so they are spread-eagled. Don't tie them too tightly: it helps if they can wriggle a bit.

Make sure the room is not too cold or too hot. They need to be comfortable.

With them at your mercy, begin lightly teasing them and stroking them. Don't rush to their erogenous zones straight away. Leave their nipples, breasts and genitals for when they're a bit "warmed up".

Don't forget to explore their face, and placing things in their mouth--such as your fingers, or nipples, or cock, or a dildo---can be very arousing for you both.

Use the things I listed earlier to create interesting, unusual and surprising sensations for your partner. Begin with light sensations and work up to more intense ones.

If they do seem to be becoming too horny, ice can change their focus while still reminding them that it's totally up to you what they feel.

See also

• Nipple torture
• Sexual denial