Suggested reading Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink Educational, Sensual, And Entertaining Essays Midori

Power

Power is the ability to do something. In purely physical terms, it might have to do with physical strength, such as the ability to lift heavy objects, beat someone else at wrestling, swim faster than another person, and so on.

In BDSM, power often refers to skill and knowledge, such as the ability to reduce a submissive to a quivering wreck with only a few words, which is based on experience and practice.

Power also might have to do with purely mental or intellectual ability.

Disparity of power

BDSM frequently has to do with one person having more power or control than the other. This is particularly the case in dominance and submission and humiliation, but also occurs in physical activities ranging from cutting and piercing, through bondage and sensory deprivation.

Usually, some aspect of enacting this disparity of power is the key to feelings of satisfaction. In other words, if the disparity of power isn't utilised, then there's no positive BDSM effect.

In the case of bondage, we can see the disparity of power in the person-being-tied having their movement restricted at the "whim" of their partner. Some forms of bondage play involve the partner-in-control drawing attention to, or teasing, their tied partner about how helpless they are and how dependent they are on their partner for ability to go to the toilet, get a drink, and so on.

When power is lacking

BDSM is seen by many to be physical. But when there are other needs involved beyond what can be satisfied in a purely physical way, technically perfect execution of, say, a flogging scene or an interrogation can be completely unsatisfying.

It is often the case that a physical scene is an opportunity, or a context, in which other aspects of BDSM can be expressed---such as power, without the physical side necessarily being an end in itself. It may well be that without the power aspect being exercised, the physical scene itself might just as well not have been done.

In this sense there can be some similarity with the idea of pain in BDSM. Pain is not an end, but is a means through which other satisfactions can be found.

See also

• Motivations