Unhealthy motivations
One could argue that the common motivations for engaging in BDSM are healthy motivations. Most reflect common and respected goals in the wider community.
But, just as there are good reasons for having sex and bad reasons, there are good and bad reasons for engaging in BDSM relationships and activities.
Meston and Buss[1], in a 2007 survey, found 237 reasons people had sex. Here are a few of the less healthy reasons which are just as applicable to BDSM as they are to straight sex:
- "I wanted to be used or degraded"
- "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease"
- "I wanted to breakup another’s relationship"
- "Because of a bet"
- "It would get me gifts"
- "I wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner"
Desperation
Someone who is unattractive by choice, through psychology, or through biology may enter into the world of BDSM as a way to find a partner. As BDSM consists of relatively few practitioners, by making oneself available as a top or dominant, or as a bottom or submissive, there's an increased chance that one's unattractiveness will be overlooked simply because there are less prospective partners for others to choose from.
In other words, for example, someone who is ugly but who will bare their back for a hard flogging, is likely to find a partner when there aren't many bottoms or submissives around with the same endurance.
References
- ↑ [Meston2007]
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