The role of fear

Go to list of other short topics

I think that fear is not properly appreciated. It is an emotion to which many people have a knee-jerk, get-me-out-of-here reaction. Although it's not one of the feelings or emotions you can generally include in the warm-and-fuzzy category, it is one which we shouldn't ignore because it is a powerful emotion and this power means we can leverage it to create good outcomes.

One of the more frequent uses of fear in BDSM is the so-called mind fuck. Put bluntly, this involves using deception to instill fear or terror into a submissive while optimistically hoping that this fear or terror can be transmuted into arousal or excitement. I'm being mildly sarcastic in my tone here because mind fucks can actually work very well. One type of mind fuck, for example, is faux kidnapping where there are plenty of opportunities for blindfolds and bondage.

Fear is also a great tool to sharply focus one's mind. Some submissives can sort of fade out in the middle of scenes if things start to become a bit repetitive such as in a flogging. Pulling out a nasty-looking single-tail whip at such times, even if you don't intend to use it, is a good way to bring them back to the here and now.

Likewise, many submissives and bottoms will pay an awful lot of attention if they're tied, naked and spreadeagled, and you pull out a couple of scalpels or a pack of large-guage needles and announce that you're going to do some decorating on their skin, particularly if you hint that this might be your first time.

Another good thing about fear and terror are that they can induce the body to release adrenaline. This is a good thing in a scene because you generally don't want your submissive to nod off at some critical juncture. Adrenaline should nicely perk them up. Mentioning nipple play and then pulling out a pair of automobile jumper cables can also be effective here.

Sometimes I feel that there are too many rational, logical and reasonable submissives out there. If you want to get through this inconveniently sensible layer of their personalities and reach their primal cores (and who doesn't?), fear is an excellent way of doing this. Fear tends to wipe rational thought away and leave only the primal being behind. This is, of course, the being that's often exceptionally horny and which can't get enough of you. Any of the aforementioned fear-inducing strategies are quite fine for this.

A word of caution here before you start to think that fear and terror are universal panaceas for the times when it might seem that your flogger's batteries have gone flat or that your rope has become defective because neither appears to be inspiring the same ecstasy they used to. Too much fear and terror can lead to unfortunate conditioning where your submissive starts to quiver and quake (and not in a good way) when you enter the room. This is not desirable.

Fear needs to be cautiously, thoughtfully, safely and selectively applied so that it remains effective. Most of the time your partner should be fear-free because long-term feelings of fear do not transmute into arousal or excitement. They're just stressful. But, appropriately-applied, fear can be 'da bomb'!

Thanks for reading. To end this article, what else could I possibly say but:

Boo!