Consent of a comedian

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I am not some super master.

I write this because there seems to be some expectation that I am a switched-on, 24-hour-a-day, take-on-all-comers dude ready to impose my mighty will on any submissive or slave who is ready for some D&s action.

It's true that I have written some books on the subjects of both BDSM and of getting my wicked way with females. I can even stare most intently and in a fashion which can send a female scurrying for replacement underwear.

I don't do it all the time though. I sometimes like time off.

There is understandable outrage when a master or dominant does something to a slave or a submissive without their consent or when they use their masterly wiles to trigger some sort of involuntary or unwelcome reaction in a submissive. But equally unreasonable is the slave or submissive who does the same to a master. For example, bowing or kneeling at the feet of a master who is not your own, while flattering and exciting, can also be unwelcome.

Us masters are simply mere mortals and trying to get a masterly rise out of us can sometimes be successful even when we have the most serious intention of remaining aloof and distant in that annoying way we have. Just because we respond doesn't mean that there's consent involved.

I'm reminded of the comedians we see on stage and TV. They may be just as funny off stage as they are on stage, but expecting them to be funny and ready to tell a joke when they're not on stage is an imposition. It's non-consensual. When they're on stage and we look for them to tell us a joke, that's probably quite reasonable. Off stage though, it's not reasonable. There is no implied or explicit contract which says they should be funny to our timetable. And just because they might be chronically funny and unable to stop themselves, or because they feel obligated or because they don't want to disappoint doesn't mean we should take advantage of them.

Ditto for masters and dominants.

Unless we're talking about that breed of dominant known as a "service dominant", we don't expect to hear things from a submissive like, "Oh, look. It's 5pm. Time for my afternoon submission. Master Kenneth, come here. I need you!"

Masters and dominants actually need time off. We like to watch the TV sometimes without feeling obliged to use our submissive as a footrest. It can be good when our submissives or slaves can fetch us a drink without us needing to put on dominant airs and thanking them in our most grave voices thus sending shivers down to their groins or elsewhere.

There are, of course, strategies we masters can use to prevent unwanted advances or to discourage untimely submission from others. My favourite is to wear a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, possibly with a few dabs of obvious sunscreen if I'm outdoors.

Ultimately though, it's a matter of consent. Submissives and slaves may not realise that they're looking for mastery or domination outside of the bounds of comfort, need, or desire of the master or dominant. It's important for us masters and dominants to recognise when it happens. It can be subtle. It can be just a niggly feeling of not being quite comfortable with what's going on, or it can something major like, "What's this naked person doing in my bedroom!?!?"

A good question to ask yourself at these times is: Is this what I signed up for?