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Peter Masters
--- BDSM --- | 
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| Welcome to the website of Peter Masters.
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Abuse
From PeterMastersWiki
| Derived from [Masters2008], Chapter 21, Abuse |
In dictionary terms abuse is the bad use of, misuse of, perversion, or missapplication of a person or thing[1].
In terms of people it is a difficult thing to measure. In some legal jurisdictions it is simply defined as one person striking another. In others it includes verbal abuse, such as yelling or insulting. In some jurisdictions it is not possible to legally consent to abuse (such as BDSM's impact play). In some jurisdictions intent is important, in others it is not.
A simple definition of abuse for the BDSM world might be one or more acts by one person which have ongoing negative consequences for another. These consequence might include:
- Fear,
- Grief,
- Anxiety and stress,
- Shame and humiliation,
- Low self-esteem and impaired self-respect,
- Inability to relate to others in a healthy way,
- Issues with trust,
- Eating disorders,
- Drugs, smoking, alcohol, gambling, or other types of addiction (including sexual addiction),
- Various physical symptoms or illnesses, or other health problems,
- Poor, excessive, or otherwise inappropriate responses to others,
- Inappropriately coloured perception of circumstances,
- Reinforcement or creation of negative self-opinions, behaviours, and attitudes
For a more complete discussion see [Masters2008] (pp. 212 - 216).
Note that I did not mention intent in the above definition. Intent relates more to the experience of the perpetrator than the victim (see below), and intent may not affect the experience of the victim.
The perpetrator
Just as some people will abuse the intimate experience of sex (see unhealthy motivations), there are people who will abuse the sometimes intimate nature of BDSM.
It is important to consider, though, the impact of the abusive act on the perpetrator as well as on the victim. For example, it is not uncommon for the courts to deal with someone suffering a sexually-transmittable disease (such as HIV, herpes, hepatitis, etc.) who knowingly has unprotected sexual intercourse with other people in an attempt to infect them. This may be a targeted act of retribution against one person, or against a small group of people who the perpetrator somehow blames for something. It may also be untargeted sociopathic behaviour.
BDSM can provide a related, and possibly abusive, context where impact play is involved and the perpetrator attempts to inflict pain and suffering upon his victim.
In both the cases mentioned above, namely sexual infection and impact play, there are two important considerations:
- The victim may not suffer any negative effects. Indeed, the victim may have an absolutely positive experience. In the case of attempted sexual infection, transferral of the infection is not guaranteed, and in the case of BDSM impact play, the victim may be in it for all he/she can get anyway
- It is frequently not the fact that the victim suffers which is important to the perpetrator, but instead it's the fact that they have performed the abusive act that is their reward
Thus, particularly in BDSM and activities like impact play, interrogation, or humiliation, we have a fertile ground for an abuser to carry out their abusive acts (and frequently get their psychological or emotional reward) without the "victim" even knowing that anything bad has happened.
